Fresh start Friday!

Starting over fresh on a brand new day today. Gotta love it!😀

Have you ever heard of a good coma? It occurs when someone binges to such an extent that they make themselves sick. I have one today because Wal-Mart had a large pizza on sale for 2.50 yesterday and then I not only are that but a bunch of salads at choir party as well as eating a whole container of pistachio ice cream! Feeling headachey and sluggish all day with no appetite at all. 

Backslide. Need some help!

Found myself giving in to a binge... Ate a whole pack of oreos, a big bag of lime flavored tortilla chips and a 2 pack of Reeses PB cups. On way home the day before I ate a big bag of carmel rice cakes, believe it was because I was bored.... Ugh! Stomach is so messed up now. Yesterday didnt feel well but still gave in to eating 2 Snickers PB eggs, and 2 milni pak of m&ms, as well as a pack of little debbie chocolate cakes w white cream filling.   Because of all this only had my double Spark today and a banana and its already 1:45pm.  No real appetite either.  Will this ever end?

Regression sucks!

While visiting my elderly parent I found myself regressing and repeating old unwanted patterns of sneaking food at night. Not feeling good about these choices...as parent cant even get out to shop independently any more. Thats not right, feeling very frustrated with my poor choices...how can i do this and live w myself...i need to realize the,consewuences of these avtions dont just effect me. Ugh... Not feeling any love right now just self hatred.

Gratefulness

Today after my dr appointment I met a lady in a wheelchair named Katherine.  She was trying to come up with wats I could be successful in private tutoring! We had just met and at the end of the conversation I found out she had 3 different kinds of cancer! Later as I was walking to my car I couldnt stop thinking about how much she was trying to help me figure out my life problems and here she was battling cancer and in a wheelchair..

Sure made me realize all that I have to be thankful for.... No more feeling sorryfor myself as its time to live fully the life i have been given. Praise God!

New outlook

Woke up feeling energized and wondered what happened? That doesnt happen to me. Much more likely to awake feeling very sleepy and not wanting to arise from bed. Could it be my changes are helping me? Meditation, support externally and internally....wow powerful thinking. I am not stuck and I believe in me. Hmmm... Wonder what will happen when I awake tomorrow? Lets get to bed so we can see! Remember the acronym for Fear is Fit, Energized, Agile and Rejuvenation! Maybe Revolutiinized! Lol! Go!

Zumba and beyond

I was just messing around with my phone whwn I found them. By them, I mean my feings and ramblings about life and weight and many other things.  I started this diary as a way to record what has been happening as well as a way to delve into my feelings and help me become a better person as well as learn ways to live life even more fully, ever so slowly but gratefully. I want more! Feel as if I have been saying that for so many years but it is so true....more travel, more friends, more relationships. More fun, and more love, always more love.   I believe a big part of this is learning to reach out to others, take them at the point they are at, embrace them and live them. Sometimes this is through lending a helping hand, sometimes it is through a listening ear. Always it is through live and kindness....Random acts of kindness are the best ones I think.