I have been living my old life. Fear is here. Why am I so scared to succeed and live life under my own terms? I am not sure and I know if I choose life over death this is what I need to do. Ice cream, chocolate, chips do not equate to happiness. Living life equates happiness! Breathing, smelling the richness of nature, walking, being alive, freedom all equals abundance that I have. The choice is yours to make. What is your choice?
Tuesday, December 1, 2015
Old life of fear
Sunday, September 13, 2015
Power of words
Today I am going to follow in my minister's footsteps and talk about the power of words. Do you know words can change a life? They may make us give up or shout out loud for joy. They may even tragically be the ultimate reason someone decides to take their life. But.... they can also be the reason why someone makes their life fulfilled and lives life to their fullest potential.
I was shocked this morning when the minister told us her sermon would be about the power of words and how they affect our lives. The reason I was shocked was not so much by the sermon title but more because of how much I have been working on my own words, whether through speaking or writing. You see, a high school classmate of mine lost his life to cancer just a few days ago. Tragic as it may seem, I really did not have a personal connection with him, other than remembering him from high school. At 52, sometimes, regrets can prevail and I have to admit this is one of those areas where they usually do. Normally, I would focus on the missed chance I had to connect to someone who means an awful lot to so many others in my high school class. However, this time, I decided I would not follow that route but move on to one that is much better. Being a regular facebook person, I follow lots of people and this is the only mode of communication I have with some friends. Therefore, I found myself looking back at a variety of posts from people who knew Tom and were having a very difficult time with his passing. I had the urge to write words about not only Tom's life but also how much he blessed the lives of others.
I found myself getting more and more involved in these stories from the past and the wonder of Tom's life. It seems he was an Angel on Earth. Especially now that I know how much people are affected by his passing.
It really does not surprise me that I did not really know him as I remember fearing my Dad and, therefore, all men when I was growing up. You see, I was taught to do "female tasks" such as cooking and cleaning and not to speak unless I was spoken to first. Dad was very sarcastic at times and angry and he and Mom had lots of arguments. I hate to admit it, but I remember wishing they would just get divorced already so I would not have to be part of the arguing and bickering. So, you see, the ultimate effect on me as I was growing up was to fear not only my Dad and my brother but also to fear every man that exists.
*A footnote here that I think is humorous, is that I find I have more close male friends than female friends in my life!* So now, you can understand why I would not have been friends with Tom in high school and also the fact that he was cute and I was infatuated but so scared to talk to him!
Back to my point and the story here, I found that I not only wanted to reach out to my friends about Tom's passing but also somehow needed to reach out and share certain words with them. I wanted them to know I believe there exist angels on Earth and that Tom was one of those rare beings. You see, through my friend's stories, I sensed that Tom loved life and was constantly smiling. He always looked out for others before himself, even until his death. Some people even said they could never remember him saying anything bad about another person.
I told my friends that Tom would want them, not to dwell on their sorrows but to fill their own lives with joy and happiness and remember how he influenced their lives this way. He was one of those beings who always loved to have fun and even in the pictures was constantly surrounded by good friends.
Life is a gift and we need to be eternally grateful for this gift. It is not something that can be touched by hand but through our hearts. Cherish each day, each breath, each moment of your life and live your life by enriching not only your life but others. Remember the happy times and don't get held back by your mistakes and grief. It is okay to be sad, to grieve, to pain, but do not get caught in the trap of these emotions. Be jubilant to be alive, and to be challenged. For it is our most difficult challenging times that we grow and really live the life we need to fulfill our conscious and unconscious goals on this Earth.
I was shocked this morning when the minister told us her sermon would be about the power of words and how they affect our lives. The reason I was shocked was not so much by the sermon title but more because of how much I have been working on my own words, whether through speaking or writing. You see, a high school classmate of mine lost his life to cancer just a few days ago. Tragic as it may seem, I really did not have a personal connection with him, other than remembering him from high school. At 52, sometimes, regrets can prevail and I have to admit this is one of those areas where they usually do. Normally, I would focus on the missed chance I had to connect to someone who means an awful lot to so many others in my high school class. However, this time, I decided I would not follow that route but move on to one that is much better. Being a regular facebook person, I follow lots of people and this is the only mode of communication I have with some friends. Therefore, I found myself looking back at a variety of posts from people who knew Tom and were having a very difficult time with his passing. I had the urge to write words about not only Tom's life but also how much he blessed the lives of others.
I found myself getting more and more involved in these stories from the past and the wonder of Tom's life. It seems he was an Angel on Earth. Especially now that I know how much people are affected by his passing.
It really does not surprise me that I did not really know him as I remember fearing my Dad and, therefore, all men when I was growing up. You see, I was taught to do "female tasks" such as cooking and cleaning and not to speak unless I was spoken to first. Dad was very sarcastic at times and angry and he and Mom had lots of arguments. I hate to admit it, but I remember wishing they would just get divorced already so I would not have to be part of the arguing and bickering. So, you see, the ultimate effect on me as I was growing up was to fear not only my Dad and my brother but also to fear every man that exists.
*A footnote here that I think is humorous, is that I find I have more close male friends than female friends in my life!* So now, you can understand why I would not have been friends with Tom in high school and also the fact that he was cute and I was infatuated but so scared to talk to him!
Back to my point and the story here, I found that I not only wanted to reach out to my friends about Tom's passing but also somehow needed to reach out and share certain words with them. I wanted them to know I believe there exist angels on Earth and that Tom was one of those rare beings. You see, through my friend's stories, I sensed that Tom loved life and was constantly smiling. He always looked out for others before himself, even until his death. Some people even said they could never remember him saying anything bad about another person.
I told my friends that Tom would want them, not to dwell on their sorrows but to fill their own lives with joy and happiness and remember how he influenced their lives this way. He was one of those beings who always loved to have fun and even in the pictures was constantly surrounded by good friends.
Life is a gift and we need to be eternally grateful for this gift. It is not something that can be touched by hand but through our hearts. Cherish each day, each breath, each moment of your life and live your life by enriching not only your life but others. Remember the happy times and don't get held back by your mistakes and grief. It is okay to be sad, to grieve, to pain, but do not get caught in the trap of these emotions. Be jubilant to be alive, and to be challenged. For it is our most difficult challenging times that we grow and really live the life we need to fulfill our conscious and unconscious goals on this Earth.
Sunday, September 6, 2015
Backbone Euphoria!
Wow! I never knew how making your health The number 1 priority would effect the rest of your life! I can say that as of today I am sticking up for my beliefs and taking care of myself like I never ever have before. You see, this morning I checked my email, like I normally do first thing in the morning. I found what I thought was just another piece of junk mail, "What else is new. Right?" lol.... Little did I know. The title caught my
eye so I decided to take a look, before proceeding to delete it. The next few minutes were spent engrossed in a short video taped by a teenage boy, obviously from another country. As I came to the end of it, I felt full of emotions and knew I had to share them. Funny thing was the author of this video expected people to be overjoyed by this showing and love it so much, they would immediately post up the video and share with all the world. Let me tell you, I had the absolute opposite feeling after viewing it. I knew I had to share the experience and follow my conscience. I not only unsubscribed from the website but also shared my view on my FB page. Would also love to share my points with the local authorities and see if there is a way to put an end to these death defying feats. I fear though I am getting ahead of myself.
Thursday, June 11, 2015
New workout this morning with my trainer!
Had I known that running and flipping a tractor tire was on my agenda today, I may have rolled over and gone back to sleep. Well, um, no, that is not true. But I am feeling strong! Pumped!
Friday, June 5, 2015
Thursday, June 4, 2015
Have you ever heard of a good coma? It occurs when someone binges to such an extent that they make themselves sick. I have one today because Wal-Mart had a large pizza on sale for 2.50 yesterday and then I not only are that but a bunch of salads at choir party as well as eating a whole container of pistachio ice cream! Feeling headachey and sluggish all day with no appetite at all.
Monday, April 13, 2015
Backslide. Need some help!
Found myself giving in to a binge... Ate a whole pack of oreos, a big bag of lime flavored tortilla chips and a 2 pack of Reeses PB cups. On way home the day before I ate a big bag of carmel rice cakes, believe it was because I was bored.... Ugh! Stomach is so messed up now. Yesterday didnt feel well but still gave in to eating 2 Snickers PB eggs, and 2 milni pak of m&ms, as well as a pack of little debbie chocolate cakes w white cream filling. Because of all this only had my double Spark today and a banana and its already 1:45pm. No real appetite either. Will this ever end?
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