New door opening

Blessed to say that with each door that closes there is a new one that opens. Never ever give up. Have faith and believe and what is supposed to be, will be.

I AM BACK AND RARING TO WRITE!

Sorry, if I have let you down. My goal was to write gratitude statements on a daily basis and the last time I was here was on December 3rd! Again, sorry for the delay.
This morning I have been doing all kinds of thinking. Thinking about labels, friends, music, life paths, careers, buying gifts for family, Christmas celebration. So you can probably understand why I have not been doing well at focusing on one project at a time lately.
Today, I will be going on a road trip to say goodbye to a beautiful soul. Anyone who had the pleasure of knowing this person would agree with me. She has been an angel to everyone she met throughout the time I have known her and I am sure that is how she was throughout most of her life.
I am not sure how my emotions will hold up today, but I want to take the time to realize that I can share with a good friend this task.
I have a friend that told me he will not come to my funeral. I understand his reasoning behind this but wonder, what if it was not a funeral but instead a blessing and celebration of life. Would that change your mind?
My convoluted point is the importance we put on labels. I am a mystery to myself lately. Who am I and who are you and what does this all mean in the grand scheme of the universe. People with jobs identify themselves by their jobs. Think about it... How many times have you heard someone say, I am a (fill in the blank) ex: teacher, trainer, actor, mother, child, friend, etc....
Does this really define the true essence of our being, though? I think not as each person is so much more than that.
Each person is whole! Each person is valuable! Each person is worthy! Each person is loved whether s/he knows it or not. Each person makes up part of this great big world and is important.
I guess today my gratitude is for knowing that each one of us has an important part to play on this Earth and I am grateful that I can understand this and identify with the whole being as opposed to just one role that each person plays.
I may check in yet later today but wanted to get this post up that deals with my thoughts this fine morning. Love to you all! Be grateful and ever so humble.

Need to update you all. I never made the trip as my friend Judy got her wings earlier today and she is resting peacefully now in heaven.

Hectic Day, Glad tomorrow is Friday!

Hi all!
   I am finally getting a chance to write my blog today. I worked out with my trainer this morning and he really pushed me hard with mountain climbers today! Actually am pretty pleased with my progress as I think these were the best ones I have ever done with that exercise! YEAH! After that, I came home and prepared for a job interview. On the way, I went the wrong way down the street that the school was on so was a few minutes late. Woops! They seemed to take it well but I know that is a big NO! NO! Had to take a computer test afterwards and do not think I did very well on it as I do not know the majority of the computer programs that I was tested on. Then, had to find my way back to my tutoring job and almost ended up in Dayton Ohio! Not really but finally figured out the correct route to get to work and arrived there with about 15 minutes to spare! Phew! I also forgot my cell phone at home so could not make any phone calls or use my GPS to help me out!
Okay, that probably was TMI but wanted to let you know how busy life is lately. Glad that tomorrow is Friday and I am planning on doing some fun things then. Have not decided exactly what but I am going to do something. Possibly a movie if the weather is not so good. Would really like to go see some lights too!
  Grateful for my car to help me get places, and especially my Mom who has generously given me her car as mine is getting up there in both mileage and age. Toyota lasts a long time but this is the longest I have ever kept one now! I am very grateful too that the scale is moving in the right direction, I will admit I am not down to my lowest weight yet again but am getting closer week by week. I plan on having a piece of pecan pie at Christmas and it sure would be nice to be at my lowest weight for that to happen! I still am trying to figure out something to take the place of Zumba as the class schedules have changed and I can't go to most of them anymore. If I sell my car and have all my bills paid up, I might go for my training in it! However, I must admit with Christmas coming up and gifts to buy I do not think I will be able to come up with that much money. But as they say where there is a will, there is a way!
  Must also say I am grateful for all my friends and family who have been showing me support through my FB page, getting my book and reading it. I love hearing your comments and will soon be getting another book out too! Would like to have it done and published by Christmas so keep your ears and eyes open!
  Grateful for my tutoring job that I really enjoy as the people there are wonderful to work for, my co- workers are great and the kids are so cute, funny and kind! They had me hopping tonight. I have a very understanding boss too who is very easy to talk to and really understands the kids. It is nice to have someone who is so caring for the students in that position!
   Okay, think I will quit now as this is pretty long so look forward to tomorrow's post! Night now!

Random wonderings

Do you ever wonder about the downs of life and how they are really the ups of life? This may sound confusing, but I do believe in this power of our wonderful life! You see, last night I could not shake the depression from deep in my soul, yet today I find some introspect in learning how much I have and am. I love the fact that there is a place I can go and ask for hugs and get them... People answering my call reminded me that I do have friends, I am loved and I am worthwhile. Everyone also showed creativity with their responses. I have a friend who is an artist and has talked about writing a book about how a person is creative throughout his/her day. It shows, even in the simplest task how creative you can be.
Okay, on to my gratitude for the day. I am grateful for the pitfalls of life in that I am blessed through the teaching they provide and ever so grateful for the awesomeness of the upswing I usually get within the next 24 hours after each one! Things go down, but they can also go up and usually do! Also, I am grateful for the technology that provides a way to reach out to so many others and provide support, encouragement, love and friendship. It is not the same as being there in person to hug or touch a soul, but it sure is a great 2nd best.  Spread some love today, share a smile, a hug, or a joke. You never know what it may mean to that person. It could be the difference between life and death!
God bless us everyone!

Day 1 of Gratitude

I made a pact with myself to start blogging on a daily basis now so here I am. Also, as there are 25, well actually 24 days until Christmas that I am going to call these my G-Blogs, 24 days of Gratitude.
I am grateful today that I stepped foot in the gym and am able to do all the exercises asked of me by my trainer. I am also grateful to share in my workouts with friends as it helps keep me motivated. Another thing too is that I am treating myself to a Fitbit and this is a great motivational tool and I can't wait to go pick it up today! I will let you know how I like it! Keep trecking on my friends. Enjoy life and be thankful! Peace out now!

Old life of fear

I have been living my old life. Fear is here. Why am I so scared to succeed and live life under my own terms? I am not sure and I know if I choose life over death this is what I need to do. Ice cream, chocolate, chips do not equate to happiness. Living life equates happiness! Breathing, smelling the richness of nature, walking, being alive, freedom all equals abundance that I have. The choice is yours to make. What is your choice?

Power of words

Today I am going to follow in my minister's footsteps and talk about the power of words.   Do you know words can change a life?  They may make us give up or shout out loud for joy.   They may even tragically be the ultimate reason someone decides to take their life.  But.... they can also be the reason why someone makes their life fulfilled and lives life to their fullest potential.
   I was shocked this morning when the minister told us her sermon would be about the power of words and how they affect our lives.   The reason I was shocked was not so much by the sermon title but more because of  how much I have been working on my own words, whether through speaking or writing.  You see, a high school classmate of mine lost his life to cancer just a few days ago.  Tragic as it may seem, I really did not have a personal connection with him, other than remembering him from high school.   At 52, sometimes, regrets can prevail and I have to admit this is one of those areas where they usually do.  Normally, I would focus on the missed chance I had to connect to someone who means an awful lot to so many others in my high school class.   However, this time, I decided I would not follow that route but move on to one that is much better.  Being a regular facebook person, I follow lots of people and this is the only mode of communication I have with some friends.   Therefore, I found myself looking back at a variety of posts from people who knew Tom and were having a very difficult time with his passing.  I had the urge to write words about not only Tom's life but also how much he blessed the lives of others.
  I found myself getting more and more involved in these stories from the past and the wonder of Tom's life.   It seems he was an Angel on Earth.   Especially now that I know how much people are affected by his passing.
 It really does not surprise me that I did not really know him as I remember fearing my Dad and, therefore, all men when I was growing up.   You see, I was taught to do "female tasks"  such as cooking and cleaning and not to speak unless I was spoken to first.  Dad was very sarcastic at times and angry and he and Mom had lots of arguments.   I hate to admit it, but I remember wishing they would just get divorced already so I would not have to be part of the arguing and bickering.  So, you see, the ultimate effect on me as I was growing up was to fear not only my Dad and my brother but also to fear every man that exists.
 *A footnote here that I think is humorous, is that I find I have more close male friends than female friends in my life!*  So now, you can understand why I would not have been friends with Tom in high school and also the fact that he was cute and I was infatuated but so scared to talk to him!
Back to my point and the story here,  I found that I not only wanted to reach out to my friends about Tom's passing but also somehow needed to reach out and share certain words with them.   I wanted them to know I believe there exist angels on Earth and that Tom was one of those rare beings.  You see, through my friend's stories, I sensed that Tom loved life and was constantly smiling.  He always looked out for others before himself, even until his death.   Some people even said they could never remember him saying anything bad about another person.  
  I told my friends that Tom would want them, not to dwell on their sorrows but to fill their own lives with joy and happiness and remember how he influenced their lives this way.  He was one of those beings who always loved to have fun and even in the pictures was constantly surrounded by good friends.
Life is a gift and we need to be eternally grateful for this gift.  It is not something that can be touched by hand but through our hearts.   Cherish each day, each breath, each moment of your life and live your life by enriching not only your life but others.   Remember the happy times and don't get held back by your mistakes and grief.   It is okay to be sad, to grieve, to pain, but do not get caught in the trap of these emotions.   Be jubilant to be alive, and to be challenged.   For it is our most difficult challenging times that we grow and really live the life we need to fulfill our conscious and unconscious goals on this Earth.

Backbone Euphoria!

Wow! I never knew how making your health The number 1 priority would effect the rest of your life! I can say that as of today I am sticking up for my beliefs and taking care of myself like I never ever have before. You see, this morning I checked my email, like I normally do first thing in the morning. I found what I thought was just another piece of junk mail, "What else is new. Right?" lol.... Little did I know. The title caught my
eye so I decided to take a look, before proceeding to delete it. The next few minutes were spent engrossed in a short video taped by a teenage boy, obviously from another country.  As I came to the end of it, I felt full of emotions and knew I had to share them. Funny thing was the author of this video expected people to be overjoyed by this showing and love it so much, they would immediately post up the video and share with all the world. Let me tell you, I had the absolute opposite feeling after viewing it. I knew I had to share the experience and follow my conscience. I not only unsubscribed from the website but also shared my view on my FB page. Would also love to share my points with the local authorities and see if there is a way to put an end to these death defying feats. I fear though I am getting ahead of myself.

New workout this morning with my trainer!

Had I known that running and flipping a tractor tire was on my agenda today, I may have rolled over and gone back to sleep. Well, um, no, that is not true. But I am feeling strong! Pumped!

Fresh start Friday!

Starting over fresh on a brand new day today. Gotta love it!😀

Have you ever heard of a good coma? It occurs when someone binges to such an extent that they make themselves sick. I have one today because Wal-Mart had a large pizza on sale for 2.50 yesterday and then I not only are that but a bunch of salads at choir party as well as eating a whole container of pistachio ice cream! Feeling headachey and sluggish all day with no appetite at all. 

Backslide. Need some help!

Found myself giving in to a binge... Ate a whole pack of oreos, a big bag of lime flavored tortilla chips and a 2 pack of Reeses PB cups. On way home the day before I ate a big bag of carmel rice cakes, believe it was because I was bored.... Ugh! Stomach is so messed up now. Yesterday didnt feel well but still gave in to eating 2 Snickers PB eggs, and 2 milni pak of m&ms, as well as a pack of little debbie chocolate cakes w white cream filling.   Because of all this only had my double Spark today and a banana and its already 1:45pm.  No real appetite either.  Will this ever end?

Regression sucks!

While visiting my elderly parent I found myself regressing and repeating old unwanted patterns of sneaking food at night. Not feeling good about these choices...as parent cant even get out to shop independently any more. Thats not right, feeling very frustrated with my poor choices...how can i do this and live w myself...i need to realize the,consewuences of these avtions dont just effect me. Ugh... Not feeling any love right now just self hatred.

Gratefulness

Today after my dr appointment I met a lady in a wheelchair named Katherine.  She was trying to come up with wats I could be successful in private tutoring! We had just met and at the end of the conversation I found out she had 3 different kinds of cancer! Later as I was walking to my car I couldnt stop thinking about how much she was trying to help me figure out my life problems and here she was battling cancer and in a wheelchair..

Sure made me realize all that I have to be thankful for.... No more feeling sorryfor myself as its time to live fully the life i have been given. Praise God!

New outlook

Woke up feeling energized and wondered what happened? That doesnt happen to me. Much more likely to awake feeling very sleepy and not wanting to arise from bed. Could it be my changes are helping me? Meditation, support externally and internally....wow powerful thinking. I am not stuck and I believe in me. Hmmm... Wonder what will happen when I awake tomorrow? Lets get to bed so we can see! Remember the acronym for Fear is Fit, Energized, Agile and Rejuvenation! Maybe Revolutiinized! Lol! Go!

Zumba and beyond

I was just messing around with my phone whwn I found them. By them, I mean my feings and ramblings about life and weight and many other things.  I started this diary as a way to record what has been happening as well as a way to delve into my feelings and help me become a better person as well as learn ways to live life even more fully, ever so slowly but gratefully. I want more! Feel as if I have been saying that for so many years but it is so true....more travel, more friends, more relationships. More fun, and more love, always more love.   I believe a big part of this is learning to reach out to others, take them at the point they are at, embrace them and live them. Sometimes this is through lending a helping hand, sometimes it is through a listening ear. Always it is through live and kindness....Random acts of kindness are the best ones I think.